Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
