I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
