woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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