if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
