Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
