i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
