I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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