I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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