Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
