You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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