dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
