angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
