sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
