he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
