Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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