Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
