i think i have two assholes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
