I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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