My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
