Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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