Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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