called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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