i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
