i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
