after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
please don't ironically join a cult
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