Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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