I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
