i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the condom got lost in my hair
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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