Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
