I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
