Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
