I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
