were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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