hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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