this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
