they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
