By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
