her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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