I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
