i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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