rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
