I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
