this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
