did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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