You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
