great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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