You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize