I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
