Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Screwed.edu
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Your penis caused this!
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