Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
