i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
