Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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