Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
