I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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