would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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