Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
