he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
