the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
