He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
