I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
