all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize