Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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